i never thought this day would come but it FINALLY happened

toon-x reviews the films you don't want to watch.
HangOver
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stallone cobra has been dethrowned as the worst movie of all time.

if someone offers you the chance to see "the darkest hour" or to slowly crush your testicles with a rolling pin, say goodbye to your balls.

there aren't words to describe just how horrible this movie is. if it had been positioned as a b-movie and went straight to dvd (not even bluray) i wouldn't be so harsh but the geniuses in hollywood actually tried to pass this off as a blockbuster.

i spent all morning so far thinking of good movies trying to wash this filth out of my head and it's not working.

-PC-Taishar
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I'm upset you thought cobra was bad. IT WAS AWESOME!

zel
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darkest hour looks great but the story kinda sucks. i dunno, i can think of plenty worse movies to watch and i definitly value my nuts way too much as i'd rather suffer through any movie than squash them. Starship Troopers for instace, while it had some good action the whole news broadcast "would you like to know more?" gimmick really got on my nerves, I'd rather watch darkest hour than sit through "would you like to know more" troopers.

really i think they hyped it too much, if they had set your expectations low for 'darkest hour' you'd prolly come away from it with a slightly more favorable review. The trailer really trys hard to make it out to be Independence Day in russia.

wow there's a thought, sequels to independence day from all different aspects around the world, ID russia, ID Brazil, ID China, would be pretty sweet.

-wicked-toon-X
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Cobra? take it back!

also, i read this "In Moscow, five young people lead the charge against an alien race who have attacked Earth via our power supply." This was enough for me to know it's going to suck.

HangOver
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if any of you are going to watch this horrible movie, don't read the next part, it's a bit of a spoiler but i want to point out how bad this movie is.

** S P O I L E R **

near the end, they see the submarine that is their ONLY hope of escaping the city. they get attacked and all end up in the water, about 100 yards from the sub. for some inexplicable reason, the girl who initially SPOTTED the sub (meaning she knew RIGHT where it was) decides her best bet is to swim to shore and run hundreds of yards IN LAND and hide in an abandoned bus in a bus station parking lot. EVERYONE else is on the sub but they just HAVE to go get her because she just HAPPENED to have picked up a flare gun 2 seconds before ending up in the water and popped off a flare so they (who are all already safe on the sub) would come and get her.

it's almost like they were making the story up as they went along and didn't bother thinking about how stupid their first ideas were. and this is just one example. in truth, you SHOULD watch this movie just so you can experience bad film making at its finest lol.

zel
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lol hang, very true. I actually thought the glaring faults in the story were kind of fun to watch and make fun of, then again I like MST3K type humor. "no wait, the movie isn't over, we need 15 more minutes! quick, swim to shore away from salvation and call for help from the people who barely escaped with their lives!"


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